Full of grace
by No Fate 1990
Summary: In the aftermath of Brooke's death, Peyton is suicidal and yet Lucas keeps holding on to her. Years later, Sawyer is married and has a newborn son named Gabriel. Meanwhile, Brooke adjusts her life to being in heaven with True and Lucky.PLEASE REVIEW.
1. I can love you much better than this

Date: 3-27-2028

Song: "Full of Grace" by Sarah McLachlan

The Winter here's cold and bitter its chilled us to the bone, we haven't seen the sun for weeks, too long to far from home

Peyton: Drifting, elsewhere calls your name. There is no shame in your abrupt early departure. Life after you, these wounds never seem to heal. I can love you much better than this code of silence. I can love you much better than this full of grace. I want you back with me. Please come back down from heaven and make my heart to be your home again. Let us make a deal. I won't steal away your zeal, your need to be at peace. Underneath the ground, you now sleep safe and sound. You are dead and never ever going to wake up, that is the final truth. I must accept the fact that the angels need you more than me.

I feel just like I'm sinking and I claw for solid ground, I'm pulled down by the undertow, I never thought I could feel so low and oh darkness I feel like letting go

Lucas: Memories speak beyond the grave. Even now, I remember your last wave goodbye. My heart will carry on in your absence. Over and over again, I miss you. Rewind back to the start before we lost our blue skies. You gave me hope back then. Optimism keeps my aquarium of tears from breaking apart. Unstoppable is this fast moving life of mine.

I fall of the strength and all of the courage come and lift me from this place, I know I can love you much better than this full of grace, my love

Sawyer: You were born with wings and a halo. The gift of eternity was never on your side. You transformed into a butterfly before my eyes. You faded in and out of the picture like lightening. Vanishing, are these lost moments that passed us by like comets. In your absence, there are tears and yet solace.

Its better this way I said I haven't seen this place before where everything we say and do hurts us all the more

Peyton: Safe out of harm's way, may Jesus carry you home in his arms. Here today but gone tomorrow, who knew the next forty eight hours would be different? Twenty four hours earlier, we spoke for the final time. Dead and gone forever, you'll never be the same again. Drifting elsewhere, you now live somewhere over the rainbow and I miss you. You were torn out of this world of mine, but reborn into another one. Safe out of harm's way, may Jesus carry you home in his arms. Safe out of harm's way, you don't have anything to worry about anymore.

Its just that we stayed too long in the same old sickly scheme and I'm pulled down by the undertow I never thought I could feel this low and oh darkness I feel like letting go

Lucas: Once I beheld an angel in which turned out to be you. Your life was a brief slow dance. You took a chance and dreamt big with the little time that you had left. Your life was a gift, a continuous volcanic shift. I wish I could've taken all of your anguish away. Today your fray ended for good. All I wanted to say became silent prayers, tiny butterfly kisses upon your soul's cheeks.

I fall of the strength and all of the courage come and lift me from this place, I know I can love you much better than this full of grace, full of grace, I know I can love you much better than this, its better this way

Sawyer: Gentle quiet Spirit, rest in the Lord. Angel of mercy, constantly bleeding heart, easily forgettable invincible person. X marks the spot where you disappeared without a word. Heaven takes you back to the start, the beginning of your existence. A good safe place to hide is inside your mind. Liberated free stallion, everpresent ghost with an one million dollar smile.


	2. Broken

Date: 4-4-2028

Peyton's p.o.v

"For men are not cast off by the lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion. So great is his unfailing love for he does not willingly bring affliction or grief

to the children of men" a pastor quotes from the bible to the congregation at Brooke's funeral. Brooke lost her battle against breast cancer this past Easter and I am still

finding it hard to let her go. Brooke joined her daughter, True who committed suicide four years ago in heaven on that beautiful fateful morning. Along time ago, both my

birth mother and adoptive mother died as the result of cancer. My birth father, adoptive father and Derek, three men who I thought would always be there for me have all

now gone elsewhere leaving me behind to wander alone in this valley of death. Adding to the drama, my sixteen year old daughter, Lucky Haley Scott was recently

involved in a school shooting at One Tree Hill. A gunshot to the heart took my little princess out of the world last year. Lucky had Down syndrome, but I still loved her

anyway for she brought a smile to my face. Lacking purpose, life here on earth hasn't been any easier for me in the present time. I don't understand how could such bad

things happen to a good person like me. I have been through so many tragedies in my life that I am starting to question God's existence and my own existence. Brooke

and I were so tight that I can actually feel my soul leaving my body to join her corpse in which is buried underneath the ground. "I love you and I miss you, my beloved

Brooke" Victoria sobs placing a I heart you teddy bear down beside the grave site. "After all these years, you have finally decided to come around. Why have you decided

to wait this long to confess your love for Brooke?" hysterical, I confront Victoria. "Auntie Peyton, please don't hurt my grandmother" Brooke's four year old son, Emmanuel

begs me. "Peyton, what the hell is your problem?" Victoria yells disturbing the peace in the atmosphere. "You are my problem, Victoria" angry, I shout back pushing

Victoria down on the ground and I don't have any sympathy in my heart for her. Speechless, people stare at me in disbelief and I am shamed of the animal that I have

become before them. ON the brink of tears, I run out of the cemetery to go to River Court where I sit down on the bletchers and meditate for a while.


	3. Reflection

Date: 4-4-2028

Sawyer's p.o.v

My dad says something about meeting up with me later and I am like whatever. He drives away in the car leaving behind old helpless me in the cemetery to protect

myself against Victoria's wrath. I am too lost in my own thoughts to pay any attention to her evil stare and give into fear. I am having a mind out of body experience, the

world appears only to be just a blur through my red bloodshot tear stained ocean blue eyes. The chill in the air makes the comfort of home, the grave to be even more

inviting. Choked up, a lump is now starting to form in my throat as I reflect back on the good and bad times that I shared with Lucky and Brooke. Sorrow is eating me up

inside waiting for a perfect right moment to be released. I pay a visit to my sister's grave site where the weight of the world falls off of my shoulders. I am in so much pain

it feels as if two swords were being driven into my chest. I reach a very critical point in my life that I can no longer speak and tears replace my words. I shower the

ground with my tears and the sound of silence consumes my mind once again.


	4. Even in death

Date: 4-4-2028

Lucas' p.o.v

I catch up with Peyton at River court where she is sitting down on the bletchers and smoking a cigarette. "Smoking will give you lung cancer" I warn her as I sit down on

the bletchers and take her hand in mine. "I don't care" Peyton shrugs as if lung cancer will never happen to her someday. She gets another cigarette out of her purse

and lights it up unaware that I may be sitting right next to her. I look up at the dark gray cloudy sky wondering if there is any hope left for us. Heaven is on the brink of

crying and going insane just like me. The flood gates open and I have no control over my emotions. "You have to stay alive for Sawyer and Aidan. I refuse to sit here and

just watch you kill yourself "I say taking the cigarette out of her hand and throwing it to the ground. I can see the pain and sorrow in those beautiful green eyes of hers.

In silence, she allows me to escort her to the car in an attempt to avoid getting into any kind of fight. Silence continues to reign over us as we pick up Sawyer and Aidan

from the cemetery then travel home. A storm is coming, I can feel it in my bones and I am slowly beginning my descent into hell.


	5. After glow

Date: 7-8-2028

Peyton's p.o.v

Never-ending, hours of mourning turn into days. The days eventually turn into months. I am traveling down a road of self-destruction. I am a stranger to myself. I found

comfort through pills and cutting myself. Lucas offered me therapy and I attended a few therapy sessions just in order to make him happy. He was nice enough to attend

some the sessions with me. These days my depression is coming back with revenge. My thoughts have made me believe that I am a big burden on everyone. Drunk, I

stand on the roof of Clothes Over Bros in the present time. I am holding a fully loaded gun. I stare down at the endless sea of bystanders and pray my savior is out

there somewhere. Airplanes fly above my head carrying news reporters and police men. "Peyton Sawyer Scott, please get off the roof before you hurt yourself" Victoria

demands in a mother like tone. "Victoria, you are not my mother. I don't have to listen to you. I will shoot you if you move any closer" I threaten pointing the gun at her.

"Please don't shoot her. Peyton, its not worth it" crying, Millicent begs me. Just as when I am about to pull the trigger and jump over the roof, Lucas comes to my rescue.

He is the only person in the world that I will listen to. "I love you, sweetheart. Your art does matter. Suicide is not the answer. It will only lead to more heartache" Lucas

says taking away my gun. He kisses me and I can see the sun again. I wonder if anything good can come out of my misery and heaven's answer remains yes.


	6. The prayer of St Francis

Date: 7-28-2028

Lucas' p.o.v

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair,

hope. Where is darkness, light and where there is sadness, joy. OH divine master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as

to understand, to be loved as to love for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.


	7. Heart beat

True's p.o.v

Taking a leap of faith is a risk,

but standing on the mountain top

and experiencing a rebirth is worth

the struggle. Earth shaking, joy

is arising from the ashes in the

form of a bonfire. Gracious,

laughter is contagious instantly

killing the dead serious silence

in the atmosphere. Good news

spreads like a wildfire throughout

the valley of death where I have

been holding my breath. Born with

wings, I meditate upon lovely things

as I sing of new beginnings and reunite

with the king of kings.


	8. Once upon a time

Brooke's p.o.v

"You are my one and only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray so please don't take my sunshine away" a female sings as her cold hands stroke my hair. I

recognize that song she is singing, I used to sing it all the time to True and then later on to Emmanuel. When I awake, I find myself in the master bedroom of a big

gorgeous mansion. True is lying down beside me in floral queen-sized bed. I assume that she has been the one singing to me all along. True studies me very closely and

she knows it in her heart that I am her mom because we share the same physical features and a special divine connection. Grumpy, I push True out of the bed and throw

a pillow at her in attempt to make her disappear so I can get some more sleep. "Mom, you shouldn't get mad at me because you are dead and cranky" True shouts

disturbing me once again. Unable to fall asleep, I force myself to stay awake for her sake. "True Elizabeth Davis, how on earth did you get yourself into my mansion?" I

wonder out of pure curiosity. "Mom, I am an angel so that means I can fly and walk through any type of building including your mansion" joyfully, True boasts. My body is

feeling very sore so I get out of the bed to do stretches. Even in death, I can't stay away from my lingerie and I dread changing my clothes. After doing my morning

routine in which consists of mostly doing stretches, I wander into bathroom where I experience the biggest surprise of my life and True bears witness to it. Overcome

with shock, I scream at the sight of my reflection in the bathroom mirror. My reflection displays a very beautiful attractive intelligent seventeen year old girl. "OH MY GOD,

Ted, I am seventeen years old again!" I scream with enthusiasm. "Mom, we will be young forever" True laughs in response to my hysteria. "I was forty years old when I

lost my battle against breast cancer on April 24, 2028. I don't understand why I am not an old lady" confused, I point out. "You are not an old lady because God needs

you to reach out to teenage angels like me" True explains. "I am desperate to make some new friends. I want you to introduce me to your friends so they can become my

friends as well" I persuade her. "Mother, my friends are your guardian angels" she reminds me. "Ted, you are right" I sigh rolling my eyes at her for telling me something I

already knew. "This gift is you, mom" True smiles giving me a snow globe and I act like a child on Christmas Day. I express my gratitude with a hug then my daughter

drifts off to elsewhere, somewhere I will never go. I shake my snow globe and the image reveals Lucky and a young boy building a sand castle at the beach.


	9. Freedom

Lucky's p.o.v

"Aunt Lucky, I want to build another castle" Gabriel demands and I afraid to disagree with him. I am like we have built ourselves an empire of sand castles and now you

want to build another one. Is it ever impossible for kids like you to get tired? the answer is no. Gabriel doesn't notice my frustration and it is a good thing since he is a

child. Energetic, he is going to be quite a hand full for his parents who will be Sawyer and my brother in law. Gabriel will remain under my care until the time is right for

him to live on the earth with his parents. As his guardian angel, it will be my job to watch over him on earth and as well in heaven. "Lucky Charms, I thought you wanted

to help me build a sand castle" Gabriel complains catching me off guard. "Gabe, whatever happened to calling my your aunt?" I wonder out of curiosity as I help Gabriel

build another sand castle. "The name, lucky charms fits you very well. I do recall it is the name of my and True's favorite cereal" Gabriel explains. I burst out laughing at

the thought of being named after a breakfast food, cereal. I wonder what I did wrong in my past life to deserve this silly nick name, lucky charms. Gabriel greatly

resembles Sawyer making the longing of home to be even more unbearable for me.


	10. Hurt

Date: 12-28-2028

Lucas' p.o.v

With each new passing day,

a girl is getting her heart broken

while another girl is falling in love

for the very first time. Please don't

cry, thats just life. Angels fall from

grace and saints leave the church.

Please don't cry, thats just life.

Marriages begin and then end in

divorce. Miscarriages happen over

again and again. Having an abortion

is a sin and yet people are willing to

do anything to stop the pain. Mentally

unstable, they are able to do a lot of

stupid insane things in order to get a

point across. Please don't cry, thats

just life. With each new passing day,

babies are born and the dying are taken

home to heaven. Please don't cry, thats

just life. Everyday life presents another

new challenge, obstacle for me. I am holding

out for a hero, Jesus who will perform a

miracle in my life. Sometimes I struggle with

finding a meaning for this life of mine. Sometimes

everything is not fine with me as the result of

failing to reach my full potential. I am capable of

making mistakes, but my life is not a mistake.

The world is full of injustice and no one is nice

enough to embrace me or to show me grace and

mercy. I don't care if I may have to run this race

that is known as life alone. Please don't cry, thats

just life.


	11. Emotional

Date: 1-9-2029

Peyton's p.o.v

True beauty comes from within,

but I feel uncomfortable in my skin.

Lost in the woods, I am damaged goods.

Drifting from morning to mourning, I am

lost in this chaos and confusion that is

known as my life. Hope is for fools like me

who have nothing else to believe in. Hope

is for fools like me who need something to

believe in. Cupid is my very stupid best friend

and I am looking forward to the end of days.

Love bites and yet life still hurts like labor pains.

I am learning to let go and loosen the reins on

everything that I have attached myself to. One

of the days, I come out of the closet and embrace

life even if it means accepting reality for what it is.


	12. Amazing grace

Date: 3-30-2030

Sawyer's p.o.v

Laughter is to my mouth

as blood is to my heart

and brain. I am God's

daughter, no doubt, I

should let the holy spirit

have his way with me. I

experience the birth of

a new dawn every time

I take in a breath of fresh

air and think upon lovely

things. The sound of my

laughter fills a room and

people wonder how can

I be so happy during a

time of doom and gloom.

Inner strength is the secret

to having a positive attitude

and a heart full of endless

gratitude and solitude.


	13. Visionary

Date: 5-31-2031

Lucas' p.o.v

There is a hole in my world,

there is a hole in my heart

and I am starting to feel less

whole. Dissatisfaction has me

going mad, I have nothing else

to offer the world, that is just

too sad and bad. I am missing

something in my life, what could

it be? I will always remember my

December, solemn autumn. It

is never enough to just have hope

and to go through the emotions of life.

My all of my focus is now directed

elsewhere, my lover who serves as

inspiration for my art. Somewhere over

the rainbow, there is heaven. I look

inside my treasure box, pot of gold

and I find a purpose for my life again.

Imagination is my soul food that makes

me to feel good about myself.


	14. Embryo

Date: 2-2-2032

Peyton's p.o.v

Long-awaited miracle, infant joy. Fearless blind ambition, enchanted life. Epic long journey of self discovery, lingering pieces of a dying dream. Overpowered by ocean

waves, voices of unborn heartbeats. Extraordinary beautiful artwork, runaway with my heart. Oasis, sanctuary of merry spirits. Everpresent, the body of Christ is my

home.

* * *

><p>Date: 10-29-2033<p>

Sawyer's p.o.v

Beauty made out of ashes, an unborn baby is God's gift to mankind. Yearning, longing, hoping, waiting, anticipating, and praying, call it long suffering. Ultimate sacrifice

and labor of love, giving birth is never easy, but worth the pain. Tomorrow will be better than last twenty four hours because I have family and they are so very silly. I

heart you, Brendan and our beautiful son, Gabriel. I may be only just twenty four, but the power of love never discriminates against age. I turn another page in this story

of my life and break out of my cage, my state of oppression and depression.


	15. Newborn joy

Date: 10-29-2033

Peyton's p.o.v

Beautiful one with a big heart of gold,

I want to grow old with you. You are

the greatest miracle of all time, a

gift that I could never replace. Out

of a billion hearts, your love is one

in a million. You love me and I heart

you as well. Besides being America's

sweetheart, you serve as inspiration

for my art. I can't imagine what the

world would be like without you

alive. You make everyone including

me that you come into contact with

feel special and loved. Godspeed,

god bless you for you are truly an

angel.


End file.
